Sunday, May, 13th 2018, we celebrated the 104th MOTHER’S DAY. For those who don’t know, MOTHER’S DAY started back in the day by Anna Jarvis. Ironically she had no children of her own, however, when her mother passed away in 1905, she organized the first Mother’s Day which wasn’t held until 1908. It became an Official Observed Holiday, to be celebrated on the 2nd Sunday of each May by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914.
But what makes a women a “Mother”? Females are always screaming to men, “Just because you made a baby by donating sperm, don’t make you no Daddy!” To me that goes both ways. I feel the same way when it comes to labeling a women a “Mother” just because she birthed a baby. I mean, how many Deadbeat Moms do you know?! Hmph! I sho’Know a few. But this blog post isn’t about tearing Mothers down. I just want to discuss what a “Mother” is in my opinion.
Webster defines “MOTHER” as, noun: a woman in relation to (her) child or children // verb: bring up (a child) with care and affection.
Regarding the word “Mother” as a verb, that’s what I want to break down 1st. You see, You don’t have to physically birth a child to be a mom. How many of us have been raised by our Grandmothers, Aunties, Older Sisters. Hell! Even the Neighborhood moms or our friends’ moms? Many of us, right? Most of us had them along with our Real moms. Once upon a time, in black communities, they would say, “It takes a Village.” I believe it still does and always will. There are a ton of women who get pregnant and birth beautiful babies who they are unable to care for. Some of these kids get caught up in the system and some are sent to live with family members. Those who go into foster care are sometimes raised by strangers. More times than not, these children are raised by mothers who are unable to have kids (by pregnancy-birth) or mothers who have kids but have more love to give so they adopt. Then there are some women who feel like, Why give birth when there are babies and children who are already alive with no place to call home.
I was a teen mom. At the age of 15, I was pregnant. By 16, I was a Mother. Still in High School. It wasn’t easy and although my mother wasn’t pleased with the situation, I was blessed to have her help, along with my “Village” of family and friends. If I have learned anything, and if I had to share anything, especially to 1st time moms, it would be to always go with your instincts when it comes to YOUR kids. Please don’t listen to Older mothers who have kids in and out of jail doing bids or those who have daughters with multiple kids by multiple baby daddies or sons with kids they don’t take care of because clearly, they have not mastered parenting, I’m just saying… Learn from and be guided by the ones who have wonderful kid doing big things. And take the positive productive kind loving things women have instilled in you. Then you Spread that Love to the youth in your life. We aren’t born into this world with manuals so just like the amazing woman who raised us, we have to take what we know and share it, as well as instill it into other kids whether they are your kids or not. The Good and Positive things.
(My Gma, My Mom, Me, My 1st born & My Glambaby)
Today I am blessed to be a GlamMa (grandma) and Still have my own Grandmother alive making us 5 Generations. This is very rare but we started motherhood a bit early. My grandmother was a mother to her own children, her grandchildren and she was also a foster mom for most of my childhood. Shes taken in and adopted many children. She is a Blessing. She allowed God to use her. I am the amazing mother I am today because I had my grandmother in my life. Being the oldest grandchild I was around to help my younger cousins since we spent a lot of time with her.
We must always keep in mind during Mother’s Day, the Mothers who have lost their child(ren), whether through violence or illnesses… No mother should have to bury her child but sadly enough it happens. Let’s honor the ones who adopt children and the ones we call our neighborHOOD moms. You know the ones… the ones who don’t give a WHAT about whose child u are. If u act up she will put you in your place! My love goes out to those who have lost their moms and grandmothers and the mother figures they had in their lives. Let us remember and pray for the ones who do not have a relationship with their moms/daughters.
Salute to Mothers Everywhere who continue to raise Amazing Children who grow up and become Amazing Adults who continue the cycle of being great additions to this world by
SPREADING LOVE, ITS THE BKLYN TYE WAY
*While working on this blog, Monday I lost one of my Grandmothers. A woman who was in my life, most of my life. I dedicate this post to her, May she Rest in Heaven.*